Martha: It’s HIM! This is why Putin hates America. It all makes sense now
Cindee: It already made sense. How does this make sense?
Martha: They cast him in Angel One. He wanted to be an actor all his life.
Cindee: Pretty sure he wanted to be a KGB agent. Also, Putin doesn’t speak English.
Martha: I’m not sure the actor ever talks…
Cindee: How old would you say that character is?
Martha: I guess I’d say they’re all around early 30s?
Cindee: Putin was 36, which is late 30s
Martha: Damnit. The only flaw in my theory
Cindee: That also would have been a strange time to abandon his post, end of the Cold War and all. According to Wikipedia Putin was undercover in East Germany at the time of this episode
Martha: So… we don’t really know where he was. Nothing more undercover than moonlighting in Star Trek.
Cindee: So why did this episode lead him to hating the U.S. exactly?
Martha: Because it’s shit
Cindee: So therefore decade later, he rigs our election
Cindee: Ironclad logic
Martha: It’s all Roddenberry’s fault
Cindee: I don’t think Putin is really into women’s rights
Martha: This episode violates the Geneva human rights convention and Putin hates humans.
Cindee: So . . . Shouldn’t he like the episode then?
Martha: Putin LIKED HUMANS until he was cast in this bullshit. And it CHANGED HIM.
Cindee: The episode convinced him to violate human rights because it did?
Martha: Yes. And move back to Russia. But the message of the episode was don’t violate human rights. And be bare chested.
Cindee: Also, the man was already a KGB officer, I don’t think he was ever a champion of human rights
Martha: No the episode violates my human right not to have seen this episode
Cindee: That guy has played other characters in Star Trek. Do you still claim it is Putin?
Cindee: One of the episodes aired in 2000. What was his motivation then?
Martha: Which franchise?
Martha: YES. SO! He was drafted in to teach Janeway how to speak Russian in preparation for her role in Orange is the New Black. KABOOM. MIC DROP.
Cindee: Why would Putin help with that?
Martha: He loves women in prison. And he wanted to help with a show about women in prison
Cindee: The show is about how awful the Prison-Industrial-Complex is.
Martha: Putin didn’t know that he was just like “a Russian woman in prison?!” I must make her accent accurate’
Cindee: Why does he need to make her accent accurate? How does that serve his agenda?
Martha: To teach other Russians that America is bad
Cindee: You just claimed he didn’t know the show was about the Prison-Industrial-Complex
Martha: He looks like Putin.
Cindee: So that’s your argument again? In that case, I just want to conclude this conversation by saying it was really nice knowing you.