Girls Can’t Do Math (AKA Coming of Age)

Martha: Better luck next time, Wesley! That girl he was up against was basically you. Calling him obnoxious.

Cindee: Nah, if it was me, I’d have won

Martha: Yeah she sucked. All her smack talk was for nothing. She never even completed one round that we saw!!

Cindee: Well, girls can’t do math

Martha: I’m not sure why the kid at the start (who ran away terribly) thought he had a chance of getting in. The Aldeans didn’t even think you were special! Also, something vague is wrong with the enterprise!

Cindee: Yeah, let’s set that part aside for the moment. They are setting up another episode.

Martha: Riker has began his long love affair with the chair vault.

Cindee: Oh is this where it started?

Martha: Yes I think so. I’ve been keeping an eye out and he hasn’t so far!

Cindee: Interesting!

Martha: Anyway, Wesley threatens a massive guy with violence! I would imagine that would not end well for him.

Cindee: That is actually my most favorite part of the episode. This entire species has the same feelings about “curtesy.” Which is comical to me, because generally people think the behavior of their culture is curtesy and that others are violating it, when really they’re just following their own norms. But apparently this entire fucking species apparently has the same cultural norms!

Martha: Yeah. You’d assume there would be a general star fleet code though. Clearly based on superior humans.

Cindee: Well it always is. In case you haven’t picked up on it, humans = Americans

Martha: Also often Worf is told that his star fleet loyalties come before his Klingon culture

Cindee: Yes but Troi is not told that about her Betazoid culture

Martha: UH DUH COS ITS HELPFUL. Things only matter cos they’re helpful to humans…

Cindee: Like Americans!

Martha: So why does this guy get to be a dick? Though I guess we could pass it off as ‘it was alllll a test’

Cindee: Like I said, it is setting up another, worse episode

Martha: Which bit is a setup, the investigation?

Cindee: Yes

Martha: I feel like the lower ranked guy gets a bad deal. He is made to interrogate everyone on the paranoia of the admiral. Everyone hates him. Picard may as well have said ‘YOU WISH WHAT’ with his eye roll when he said he’d really like a job in the Enterprise. So his career prospects are tanked cos of some guy, who Picard still likes! I feel we as the audience are supposed to be like ‘you’ll never join our enterprise!!!’ But really that’s guys done nothing wrong!

Cindee: Cause he was following orders

Martha: Oh don’t Picard quote me. Don’t you dare.

Cindee:

Martha: Well, the list of Enterprise fuck ups and deaths speaks for itself!

Cindee: Anyways, Wesley is scared of his psychological exam, and Worf gives him a pep talk

Martha: Hahaha in the holodeck of all places

Cindee: Did the safety protocols go offline?

Martha: They didn’t but they never actually switched it on. Wesley was just hanging in the checkered room.

Cindee: That’s quite odd. And Worf just happens upon him? “Hmmmm, I’ll just wander into this holodeck to see if anyone is loitering in it”

Martha: I think Worf comes in for some RnR/ death wish action and is all ‘hullo Wesley!’

Cindee: Worf tells Wesley not to worry. Wesley does his thing and it’s about his dad of course

Martha: Soooooo. Did Picard not drag his dad through steam?! Did Picard leave his dad clinging to a pipe?

Cindee: Picard had to choose between two people

Martha: And because he fancied Dr. Crusher, he let her husband die?

Cindee: Sigh. Jack was his best friend!

Martha: So why did he let him die Cindee?

Cindee: that is never really explained

Martha: So you don’t know for sure that I’m wrong…

Cindee: Oh FFS. Next you’re gonna start spouting your theory that Picard is Wesley’s dad

Martha: He loves Wesley. It’s so obvious.

Cindee: He’s more like an uncle.

Martha: So anyways, Wesley follows Worf’s advice, and then doesn’t get into starfleet. So it’s Worf’s fault

Cindee: No, Wesley succeeds at the psych exam. its later that he loses.

Martha: It’s not really explained how. Blue guy is just better generally. And both girls sucked, obviously.

Cindee: Well yes, girls are bad at math. They probably don’t learn calculus until they’re 12 or something. Anyways, you should be glad, now he’ll stick around.

Martha: So it’s all good. And no one died! Wesley doesn’t get into Starfleet at age 16 or whatever.

Cindee Anyways, didn’t you kinda know he’d fail? Since, then he’d be gone? Off at the academy?

Martha: I didn’t know the nature of the training. Is it a literal ‘off to college you go’ school?

Cindee: Yes. 4 years, in San Fransisco.

Martha: What?! Noooo this cannot do. How long would it take to get back to Earth from where

Cindee: Not that long, they go back to Earth frequently

Martha: Ah okay.

Cindee: And in the meantime investigaty guy found nothing

Martha: Picard gives up a job in an episode set up which makes no sense to anyone who doesn’t know that. We just get a lot of people saying how marvelous Picard is!

Cindee: Which he isn’t . . . yet