Cindee: Are you getting out your M and Ms?
Martha: Oh I’ve eaten them all. So I assumed they were going to tackle arranged marriage with their usual sledgehammer tact, and I was not disappointed!
Cindee: Ha, so, it starts off with that creepy talking box, yes?
Martha: Oh god yes. Clearly they spent all the CGI budget on disco ship and had nothing left for the box…
Cindee: When I think of this episode, I think of the creepy talking box, and my hate for Lwaxana Troi…
Martha: The box spilled out a bunch of gems in a really awkward way, like those glitter bombs. Who’s gonna clean that up!?
Cindee: Wesley, maybe?
Martha: Well! That explains where Wesley is, cleaning up, cos is he fuck invited to the wedding!
Cindee: You can’t invite a 15 year old to a naked wedding.
Martha: Oh it was a naked wedding? They hardly every mentioned that…
Cindee: Well the wedding never happened…
Martha: I was being sarcastic
Cindee: OH
Martha: Lwaxana’s dialogue was mostly:
The wedding is naked
Do you want to see me naked?
I know you want to see me naked
Your husband wants to see me naked!
Which of these accessories will look better when I’m naked?
Do you like my hair? It’ll look better when I’m naked
And I’m not even exaggerating!
Cindee: I fucking hate that woman
Martha: Yeah I see your annoyance, but are you as annoyed as Deanna? Do you want to punch a gong out of your way and storm off?
Cindee: I want to punch someone most days, so
Martha: I liked that her party outfit was her work outfit but glittery. But at least she HAD a party outfit!
Cindee: Yeah it is super bizarre that they wear their uniforms like all the time
Martha: Yar made her hair fancy! And so did Crusher. I thought for a second that’s who Wyatt was drawing. Oh and Yar is all ‘woooah you get married NAKED’ Trust Yar.
Cindee: Are we really going to talk about everyone’s hair? Cause then I’m out.
Martha: Only cos you like Picard, and he has no hair.
Cindee: He has a little. Also, I like Dr. Crusher and she has hair. I just don’t give a shit about it.
Martha: It’s only because I thought she fancied it up to look like Wyatt’s pictures. But it wasn’t her. It was the residents of disco ship
Cindee: Why are you calling their ship disco ship?
Martha: Cos it’s having a goddamn rave! It’s got fancy lights like a disco and everyone in it has an infectious disease. Just like a real disco.
Cindee: Alright, you win. Disco ship. The resemblance is not as uncanny as the pokeballs though.
Martha: Only cos we don’t have discoships and I have a patent pending before you try.
Cindee: Ok, so my question, how the hell are these people and Lwaxanna old friends. They seem to hate each other!
Martha: Wasn’t it supposed to be more a friend of Troi’s dad? But yeah you can’t imagine them double dating! Anyway I’m guessing Troi’s father s dead?
Cindee: Everyone’s father is fucking dead!!
Martha: Haha! Well! You mentioned about her random accent she chose. On this her mum says she got it from her dad!!
‘Quick! Explain the accent disparity’
Cindee: Majel couldn’t do “British person badly doing American” or whatever the hell we’re gonna call Troi’s initial accent. That’s the only thing I can think to call it. I don’t think she WAS trying to do an American accent, but she sounds like a British person trying to sound American. Maybe her father was British but wished he was American
Martha: I’m sure I read the actress has some Greek parentage…
Cindee: Yeah her accent is just British though, I know because eventually the actress gets lazy and reverts back to her British accent
Martha: Here is Picard’s musings on arranged marriage
‘… it seems to me that she has become trapped by a custom of her home world which the facts of the twenty-fourth century have made unwise and unworkable. I wish I could intervene.’
Cindee: Oh Picard. Cultural relativity is not really their thing early on, is it
Martha: Hahaha well maybe they felt that they’d covered racism and sexism, so now it was religion’s turn!
Cindee: I never got the sense that it was a religious thing
Martha: I guess thats just what I associate with arranged marriage
Cindee: Riker talks about ‘habits of the beasts’ which I don’t want to know about and appears to have used the holodeck purely to create a rock to lean on. My google image searches have made me very aware of the Riker lean and he really gets into the Riker lean this episode. There’s at least 3 ponderous exaggerated leans.
Cindee: You mean his thinking face?
Martha: Well it’s not just the face. It’s his whole body
Cindee: Lol ok
Martha: So Troi flounces out, punches a gong, and goes out to have a chat with leaning Riker. In that time, they stop fighting in the hall, come to a detailed compromise about the wedding traditions, AND Wyatt even says he’s saw his dad practising NAKED in the mirror. Just how long was she gone?!
Cindee: You don’t practice being naked? I mean, it takes practice
Martha: Honestly I think I need practice haha. ALSO Why does Lwaxana have a sentient fake plant. And why doesn’t her best friend know about them if they’re a betazoid ‘pet’
Targ > plastic plant
Cindee: What does the word “sentient” mean to you
Martha: Alive…
Cindee: Well, that’s silly, plants are alive
Martha: The dictionary says ability to feel or perceive. Are you saying plants don’t have feelings…
Cindee: Yes
Martha: And she like, makes it tickle her. It’s like a snake
Cindee: So then it’s not a plant…
Martha: Okay. Why does Lwaxana have a fake plastic plant that the Star Trek producers are telling me is an animal
Cindee: Lmao, to bother the other lady obvs!
Martha: Clearly haha. Picard is getting so much better. I enjoyed him weakly taking the bag away. I enjoyed him telling Data he was circling the room like a buzzard. I LAUGHED at ‘I was not amused’ at Lwaxanas ‘joke’!
Cindee: Picard can be a funny dude
Martha: He had some top class banter today.
Cindee: ok, so, what are your thoughts on the idea that these two lovebirds have been dreaming of each other all their lives?
Martha: Erm, stupid.
Cindee: Exactly.
Martha: Like firstly, if I walk into someone’s house/disco ship, and there are drawings of me AS A CHILD all over the wall, I take my two items of medical paraphernalia. And I leave.
Cindee: well, he was drawing her all the time, too, so . . . . also, as established, he couldn’t leave once there
Martha: Drawings which he subtly put out to show his ‘fiancée’ HERE IS MY DREAM WOMAN WHO ISNT YOOOOOOOU
Cindee: Well he thought it was going to be her, so maybe he was like “I’ll creep her out by showing her a picture I drew of her”
Martha: not when he displayed them in his room Cindee! He knew it wasn’t her! He’d already met her!
Cindee: Oh, ok. well, I like to draw men I wish my husband was and put them around the house, too. Don’t we all?
Martha: As children, I hope… anyway, I don’t think he took nearly enough medica stuff to hell
Cindee: There’s only like 5 of them or whatever
Martha: Maybe I got confused but where did Crusher think he was going. Why did he need to knock out the transporter operator? Where did they think he was going?!
Cindee: Wasn’t he supposed to just beam the supplies, not himself?
Martha: Oh that would make sense
Cindee: Why Crusher would have him do it when she has plenty of minions, no one knows.
Martha: Lwaxana takes this weirdly well. As does everyone?! They even let Deana keep the jewels!
Cindee: I always figured everyone was secretly relieved. Ok, so a couple more random thoughts. How weird is it that they all figured out where Troi’s ship would be and agreed to all show up there at the same time, unannounced. I guess the creepy box did announce it, but barely before their arrival
Martha: Also Troi is clearly upset and Picard is all ‘congrats! Let’s all go to the wedding!’
Cindee: Well he’s not an empath. I mean he can’t just sense people’s feelings like Troi!
Martha: He has ZERO empathy if that’s what you mean
Cindee: Also, wtf is “genetic bonding”
Martha: I guess I assumed a fancy word for sex
Cindee: no, they were genetically bonded from childhood.
Martha: Oh weird, no idea then. Fancy alien marriage thing…
Cindee: Also, why is it a foregone conclusion that she’ll leave the ship
Martha: Also, Lwaxana is super into her status as a betazoid. Why would she marry a human? Why would she let her daughter marry a human?
Cindee: She chastises Troi for talking out loud, how the fuck does she think she’ll communicate with her new husband?
Martha: Hahaha well if she just CONCENTRATED she could sense his thoughts, like she can with sexxxxxy Riker!
Cinden: Theyre imzadi, Martha. Also I think they had to think their thoughts at each other to hear them
Martha: I don’t get their relationship. They’ve barely said a word to each other and now he’s all sulky
Cindee: They had one before, before the show
Martha: And he left her. To be a ship captain? Are there Star fleet rules about relationships and ship captaincy? I mean they apparently have a ‘no fighting at parties’ rule
Cindee: You know it’s never 100% explained, but yeah the idea is that he put his career first, but captains can get married. OK, spoilers, but I think Riker and Troi met on Betazed and then he got reassigned or something and she couldn’t go with him or whatever.
Martha: But now they’re together ALL THE TIME
Cindee: Have you never watched a TV show or something? They’ve gotta will they or won’t they. That’s how romance works on TV
Martha: Do they even still talk to each other outside of work?
Cindee: Sure
Martha: You don’t know that!
Cindee: Yes I do, I’ve seen them do it
Martha: I want to see some downtime bridge crew.
Cindee: well you’ll like later seasons then
Martha: Do they have a B team so they can have a rest
Cindee: Yes, there’s three shifts
Martha: But we only care about Picard’s shift
Cindee: Obvs
Martha: Oh no Worf this episode! It doesn’t make sense for him not to be at the wedding! Maybe Klingons can’t go to weddings
Cindee: I’ve seen Worf go to weddings
Martha: He just hates Troi?
Cindee: Maybe he hates nudity
Martha: I’m with Worf!
Cindee: Yeah me too, people should keep their fucking clothes on.
